He dared to say it......elquoently

I liked this.

I understand about helping kids/adults feel good about themselves, but I've always felt it should be more like "You can probably achieve anything you want IF YOU WORK HARD ENOUGH AT IT" instead of "You are awesome just because you exist".

I think that over the past 30 years, the concept of nurturing has been twisted and warped until it no longer reflects its true meaning.

Every generation thinks the generation following it is soft. X'ers think Millenials are obsessed with tech and fame, Boomers think X'ers are cynical and lazy, Greatest Generation thought the Boomers were idealistic dreamers. And so on back through the ages. I bet the ancient Egyptians were always telling their kids: "Well, when we built the Pyramids, we didn't use wheels, we dragged those stones. On 120 degree days. Uphill both ways."

It's possible that this high school English teacher is Tyler Durden.

"Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else." - TD

@Ace_Face: yeah, at least as far back as Socrates: “Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers.”
Some things never change.

I think the difference today is that kids are not allowed to fail. Failure is a great teaching tool. Coming back from a failure instills character, promotes endurance, and establishes some humility.

Yeah, even teachers feel like the rewards and praise (for nada) are out of control in the school system. I know one who accompanied a field trip for students who had achieved a reading goal and were having a special day out as a reward. Those who had to stay in school -- the nonachievers -- were given a party so they wouldn't feel like they were being left out of all the fun.

Duh -- not getting a reward for hard work DOES feel like missing out on the good stuff; that's why most people wise up and start achieving!

On the positive side, she reports that kids who've had special needs students in all their classes (mainstreamed) are very respectful of disabilities and very patient with those who need extra help. By extension, she finds them to be attentive to the elderly (whereas my cohort thought anyone over age 60 was frightening). Maybe we're raising a generation of nurturers who will make our lives more pleasant in our senior years.

There is a large cohort of parents who wouldn't allow their child to fail, taking out any short comings on the student, or more often on the teacher. 'My kid is miserable, all over some stupid test?! What's wrong with you!' This is where the some-form-of-success overly indulgent self-esteem through token economy type of education is coming from. A reaction that makes the pressure from these parents go away.

We need to tell kids that life isn't like TV (or church). It doesn't all work out in the end if you just believe. We also need to not just let kids fail, but permit it as a natural and not-all-together-bad part of life. Harsh condescension of a child for a poor performance may spur growth, but is more likely to create mental callouses towards the topic that has caused him or her harm through failure.

We need to do more talking with a kid who fails than punishing or rewarding. Can't fix broken by smacking it around or ignoring it. Need to understand it and have a plan.

Just wondering how many other teachers rolled their eyes and said, "Here we go again..." when he walked up to the podium.

Maybe we're raising a generation of nurturers who will make our lives more pleasant in our senior years.

We can all hope so, but I wouldn't count on it.

I wonder how many school teachers actually tell parents the brutal truth about little Johnny...

Your son? Let me tell you. Your kid isn't cute, isn't terribly bright nor artistically creative. This means he isn't noticeably different from the rest of the kids in the class. If you can motivate him to start working hard now, right now, and keep working, then it's likely he'll have a nice life. He'll grow up to value hard work and rewards, he won't run himself into serious debt, he'll have few friends but they'll all be true friends and therefore worth having. He won't go to jail for doing something so incredibly stupid that even you won't believe it. He'll likely despise labor unions and vote the Republican ticket - okay, forget I said that.

My brother, Shotgun Bob, has a foster child who just turned nine. The little darling came to his home with bruises around his neck where his mother tried to strangle him. No, I'm not joking. No, I haven't been drinking. Yet. The kid can't read, so old Shotgun Bob is teaching him. The kid gets one hour a day of professional instruction and one half hour every night of practice under supervision.

It's working.

self esteem, which all these awards are supposed to 'promote' doesn't come from false accomplishments or praise from being just like everyone else.

Self-esteem is a manifestation of your own belief and confidence in yourself based upon your record of actual accomplishments.

The worse thing we can do to our children is teach them that there are no winners and losers - that everyone is equal (in ability/knowledge/skill - not in opportunity to succeed) - or that life is fair. It sets them up for a horrible reality check when they learn, as an adult, that it isn't true...

And who's working over the mother?

I've got about ten minutes...

The biological mother is mentally ill and hates the son. But since the mother loves the daughter (about 12) the daughter is living with her. The mother is out of rehab, out of jail and out of the loony bin, but not out of meds (self-prescribed and otherwise). This is, by the way, all happening with the blessing of the judge and the child welfare folks and the mother's treatment team.

Mom's boyfriend is still a guest of the State. When he gets out no one knows what will happen next. Ponder that statement for a moment if you will.

The boy's biological father is in Florida and wants nothing to do with the boy or the situation. He refuses all communication with everyone, having found a new life or something.

The child welfare people and the mother's treatment team are waiting for the mother to return to normal reality, or stabilize, or something so that the boy can be returned to her. They don't like to break up families, you see.

The boy has other social, mental and health problems that I won't go into, but that are so significant that I really don't know just how he's going to pull out of this nose dive, but due to Shotgun Bob's efforts he is slowly getting better. For instance, he's learned that doing things you shouldn't will get your swimming pool privileges suspended for a week, and no amount of howling, cajoling or promising to be better will restore them. He likes swimming, so certain behaviors have not been repeated. He's also learned that it's possible to have a household where people do not scream profane insults and try to beat each other to death with a car aerial (mom's boyfriend) or a nine iron (mom), or have outstanding felony warrants or falsify symptoms for Vicodin or do other interesting things.

All I can tell for sure is that the boy just turned nine and has never really been raised up until now. So he's learning.

Oh my goodness. What a rotten heartache.

"They dont like to break up families......"

For Pete's sake there was no "family" here in the conventional, normal, sense. Just a cesspool of out of control people living under the same roof.