Ok, I made the last part up. It's all in fun. Enjoy
Comments ... #
nuff said? Please dont ask how I know about this stuff.
It's in the divorce lawyer, which might just be reiterating the original title of the post.
God...It's about time someone gave you guys a road map.
Now could one of you gentlemen help me explain it to my husband?
Only one problem, Eastsider: Guys won't read maps or stop and ask for directions.
Keep nibbling on the clitoris and you can't go wrong.
Or I should say for the ladies involved. Ever think about actually TALKING to your lovers and telling 'em what you like/need to get off?
LOL, check it out:
I key myself into my boyfriend's back door every Friday night while he's at work, because I spend Friday nights there, and I go over early to let "our" doggie outside after he's been alone already for several hours. I've been talking/nagging/demanding/bargaining/cajoling/pursuading/asking for about three months now that my boyfriend please replace the burnt out lightbulb on his back porch because it's difficult for me to find the right key on my keychain and key in in absolute darkness. (I don't have a key for the front door.) He claims it's a pain to change this particular lightbulb because the ceiling is kind of high and the light fixture is difficult to get on and off -- he might need a screwdriver!-- not to mention it's glass, so if he does not handle it delicately, he might drop and break it. Of course I understand that to change the lightbulb would be a pain and might require some minor on-the-spot problem-solving, and I've tried to be sensitive about that in my requests that he actually do it. This weekend I meant to bring my stepstool, a screwdriver, and a lightbulb with me and DO IT MYSELF, but I forgot to bring those things.
Ultimately, I have three choices: a) I can keep talking until I'm blue in the face and maybe he might get around to listening and therefore finally implementing this "thing" to make me happy and which will, in a very practical sense, benefit him, too, since he also usually keys into the back door, although he has fewer keys to go through on his keychain and so keying in isn't quite as annoying for him as it is for me; b) I can pursue an efficient course of action and gather the necessary equipment -- maybe even a screwdriver! -- and do this thing myself in order to make myself content, even though that risks slightly emasculating him, though he'd quickly get over that and be content for it to no longer be something on his to-do list that I complain about; or c) I can simply just stop going over there on Friday nights. Generally I LIKE going over there, so I'm not sure a burnt out lightbulb is a good reason to stop, even though the darkened back porch certainly does cause me moments of extreme frustration every single Friday night. I mean, the rest of the house is fine, you know?
Please enjoy this metaphor brought to you by jmleong.
Taint my fault most people are jerkoffs, ladies. I was one of those oddballs that always wanted to please a woman before myself. But then,mainly, men are from mars, women from venus.
"Or I should say for the ladies involved. Ever think about actually TALKING to your lovers and telling 'em what you like/need to get off?"
Actually Dark, it works better if we demonstrate first. 8-)
Whatever. The sexes will never get along anyway, regardless of the bedroom tactics.
Hey jmleong, I suggest that when you change that bulb, buy one of those spiral shaped flourescent bulbs. They last about seven years and are far more energy efficient than incandescent bulbs. If you have a small porch put in a 60 watt bulb Large porch 75 watt.
Generally I don't like those CFL bulbs in my living areas -- I know, how very carbon footprint selfish of me -- but a back porch is probably a good place to put one, particularly THIS back porch. So thanks.
Ahem. I assume you are ACTUALLY talking about light bulbs, right?