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Gatorade is MLB's poison of choice...no water for you

Good ole' crappy Gatorade.
High fructose corn syrup, brominated vegetable oil, dyes.... all cause potential behaviorial and physical problems.
Depression, cerebral atrophy, lesions, tremors... sound like the effects a sports drink?

http://www.nj.com/yankees/index.ssf/2008/04/dont_drink_the_water.html

Don't drink the water!
by Ed Price
Wednesday April 23, 2008, 1:23 PM

Two signs on the doors leading from the visitors' clubhouse at U.S. Cellular Field to the first-base dugout read, "NO BOTTLED WATER ON THE BENCH."

What's this? Athletes can't drink water? Even in the humid Chicago summers?

Here's the explanation I got:

Gatorade is Major League Baseball's "official sports drink." So instructions were sent that no player could be seen drinking anything but Gatorade in the dugout. Not even Aquafina, which is the "official water" of MLB. Not even bottles of water with the labels removed.

White Sox clubhouse personnel said if players take bottled water onto the bench, all the bottled water will be removed from the clubhouse as punishment.

So remember, the biggest threat to baseball isn't steroids or HGH or amphetamines or runaway ticket prices or four-hour games.

It's water.

created by charlatan on Apr 23, 2008 at 09:30:01 pm     Comments: 6

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Comments ... #

Is this an analogy for public schools/ school choice, Charlatan?

posted by Postal on Apr 23, 2008 at 10:48:28 pm     #  

It's got electrolytes! It's what plants crave!

posted by TheTalentedMrC on Apr 23, 2008 at 11:42:28 pm     #  

Not sure of the merits of school. Why do so many teachers and administrators choose to homeschool their kids?
http://www.amazon.com/Deschooling-Society-Open-Forum-Illich/dp/0714508799

And Idiocracy might be the best satire of the future besides Robocop.

posted by charlatan on Apr 24, 2008 at 12:09:15 am     #  

Looks like they just can't have bottled water on the bench...don't see anything prohibiting water period.

posted by mom2 on Apr 24, 2008 at 07:21:08 am     #  

It's unlikely they'd drink from the tap because chlorine and to a lesser extent fluoride inhibit growth. Dechlorinate your water and feed it to your plants and watch them hit hyperdrive...

Anything that inhibits growth might counteract all that HGH, epo, and the like.

posted by charlatan on Apr 25, 2008 at 11:59:04 am     #  

Corporate greed in sports at its best. How absolutely ridiculous.

posted by hunkytownsausage on Apr 25, 2008 at 05:04:21 pm     #  

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