Toledo Talk

Dear Morons at ODOT & Toledo S.B.H & Transp. Depts.

Dear Morons at ODOT & Toledo S.B.H & Transp. Depts.,

Today I found myself in the downtown area in the 3-4:30 timeframe.

I would like to know which of you utter nitwits is responsible for the traffic signals at either end of the Craig Bridge. With the bridge being closed for repainting, THERE IS NO REASON WHATSOEVER TO KEEP THE SIGNAL AT CRAIG BRIDGE AND SUMMIT ON STOP AND GO! NONE!

And since the bridge is closed, and maybe this was just a fluke occurrence due to the weather (maybe people were avoiding the VGCS what with the snow, or it was an early rush hour due to the snow, or something), FRIGGING ADJUST THE TIMING OF THE LIGHTS AT SUMMIT AND CHERRY, FRONT AND MAIN, AND ESPECIALLY MAIN AT BOERS-BOYER/RIVERSIDE TO COMPENSATE FOR THE ADDITIONAL TRAFFIC! THE FRIGGING SOUTHBOUND SUMMIT LEFT TURN TO CHERRY STREET TRAFFIC WAS BACKED UP PAST FRIGGING LAGRANGE, WITH YOUR FRIGGING CITY AND ODOT PLOW TRUCKS STUCK IN IT WAITING FOR THE FRIGGING LEFT TURN LIGHT WHICH ONLY LETS 3 CARS THROUGH IN EACH LANE PLUS THE GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING RED LIGHT/LEFT TURN CAMERA INTIMIDATING ANYONE WHO THOUGHT OF TRYING TO HURRY THROUGH THE LIGHT.

With the frigging Craig Bridge closed for the next 2-3 months plus the impending closure of the High Level looming on the horizon, it ought to be clear to anyone with an IQ greater than last week's wind chills that there ought to be some damn changes made to the signaling and signal timing through this area. Unfortunately it seems that the material substituting for brains in the powers that be is incapable of pondering the ramifications of shutting down a bridge or two and acting accordingly with respect to traffic planning and signal timing! In fact, I wager that at least some of the poor souls out chucking cold patch into potholes probably have a better grip on said traffic planning and signal timing than their superiors and ought to be promoted while the morons in their cozy offices should be out pounding the streets with their feets, if you get what I'm saying.

If you're not inclined to listen to my little rant because I'm not terribly nice and friendly in my tone, however, keep in mind that the Strong Publisher and his minions read this board and you're probably messing up their commute, as well as all those nice employees over at WTOL, and they'll be more than happy to pick up the general issue and run with it. Frankly, I'd expect to be getting some calls from David Patch soon anyway. And I'm sure he, the rest of The Blade, WTOL, the rest of ToledoTalk, and myself, would just love to know why the hell the city can do things like spend thousands of bucks on both red light/speed cameras and the police Pie-in-the-Sky cameras for "PUBLIC SAAAAFFFEEEEETTTTYYYY" yet there's very little traffic signal flow intelligence and no damn emergency vehicle pre-emption on traffic signals pretty much anywhere in the city. You'd think that just MAAAAAAAAYYYYYYBBBEEEEEEE it'd be SMART to stick that on the signals up and down Monroe Street, Cherry Street, Promedica Parkway, and so on where the ambulances and fire trucks run. Correct me if I'm wrong here but the signals up and down Secor in the rebulit section were all replaced too and I don't recall spotting any pre-emption sensors or acknowledgement lights on those signals either... would have been a GREAT IDEA, don'tcha think? (Well it's obvious to me there's no thinking going on here.) Seriously, I get that the roads are hell in terms of surface condition, but apparently thinking ahead, or the simple act of thinking "duh, this T-intersection has one leg closed for a month, why don't we flip the signal into caution or four-way stop mode rather than leaving it in stop-and-go, hell it'll even save electricity in addition to all the gas in the drivers' cars" isn't happening.

In conclusion, you all either need to put down the bottles or to throw out the damn decaf and drink the real stuff.

Wishing you all the best luck in avoiding potholes,

AC

created by anonymouscoward on Jan 16, 2014 at 07:40:37 pm     Local-Politics     Comments: 23

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Comments ... #

Valium. It does a body good.

posted by toledolen_ on Jan 16, 2014 at 07:43:00 pm     #   4 people liked this

toledolen_ posted at 06:43:00 PM on Jan 16, 2014:

Valium. It does a body good.

I hear it's in the water coolers by union contract. Explains why it takes 6 guys to do anything at those departments. They're too relaxed to actually give a goddamn about what they're doing and why and if it makes any sense at the time.

posted by anonymouscoward on Jan 16, 2014 at 07:46:11 pm     #  

posted by anonymouscoward on Jan 16, 2014 at 07:51:55 pm     #   2 people liked this

I volunteer as tribute, if that's what it takes.

posted by anonymouscoward on Jan 16, 2014 at 08:01:44 pm     #  

You owe me 1.10 for using Strong Publisher.

posted by justread on Jan 16, 2014 at 08:17:39 pm     #  

justread posted at 07:17:39 PM on Jan 16, 2014:

You owe me 1.10 for using Strong Publisher.

Show me your official registered trademark, Sparky.

posted by anonymouscoward on Jan 16, 2014 at 08:27:48 pm     #  

Well it looks like Transportation (which handles signals and signs) is separate from S.B.H., go figure, left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing, probably some union division-of-work-not-my-job bullshit in there too. WTF.

posted by anonymouscoward on Jan 16, 2014 at 09:05:51 pm     #   1 person liked this

anonymouscoward posted at 07:27:48 PM on Jan 16, 2014:
justread posted at 07:17:39 PM on Jan 16, 2014:

You owe me 1.10 for using Strong Publisher.

Show me your official registered trademark, Sparky.

We both know I own that, Cupcake.

posted by justread on Jan 16, 2014 at 09:17:33 pm     #  

Great rant!

posted by EconCat88 on Jan 16, 2014 at 09:36:35 pm     #   3 people liked this

EconCat88 posted at 08:36:35 PM on Jan 16, 2014:

Great rant!

If you liked this rant, please click the little + and green HoF button above. Thank you and have a nice day.

posted by anonymouscoward on Jan 16, 2014 at 09:49:06 pm     #  

justread posted at 08:17:33 PM on Jan 16, 2014:
anonymouscoward posted at 07:27:48 PM on Jan 16, 2014:
justread posted at 07:17:39 PM on Jan 16, 2014:

You owe me 1.10 for using Strong Publisher.

Show me your official registered trademark, Sparky.

We both know I own that, Cupcake.

posted by anonymouscoward on Jan 16, 2014 at 09:50:00 pm     #   1 person liked this

"Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?"

(You get a gold star if you can name the movie that comes from. It's all I could envision when reading this rant.)

posted by dell_diva on Jan 16, 2014 at 10:50:12 pm     #  

Willy Wonka

posted by MIJeff on Jan 16, 2014 at 10:58:43 pm     #  

dell_diva posted at 09:50:12 PM on Jan 16, 2014:

"Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?"

(You get a gold star if you can name the movie that comes from. It's all I could envision when reading this rant.)

National Lampoon Xmas Vacation

YAY ANOTHER STAR, THAT MAKES TWOOOOOOOOOOO

I shall keep them for use in the next idiotic traffic backup.

posted by anonymouscoward on Jan 16, 2014 at 11:10:04 pm     #  

I have to give S.B.H. credit though. They've been filling in the potholes I've been reporting. Usually within 48 hours.

posted by anonymouscoward on Jan 16, 2014 at 11:51:09 pm     #   2 people liked this

Summit at Craig Bridge still on stop-and-go and a lack of BRIDGE CLOSED DETOUR AHEAD type signage on the approaches to it on Summit in either direction. Plus the turn-only lanes onto it are unobstructed. Frigging really.

posted by anonymouscoward on Jan 17, 2014 at 01:26:41 pm     #  

"I, the undersigned, shall forfeit all rights, privileges, and licenses herein and herein contained, et cetera, et cetera... Fax mentis incendium gloria cultum, et cetera, et cetera... Memo bis punitor delicatum!"

posted by Molsonator on Jan 17, 2014 at 02:03:27 pm     #   1 person liked this

you'd think they were up on 22 watching and laughing at all the ants forever waiting in line.

posted by BrianInFlorida on Jan 17, 2014 at 10:09:24 pm     #  

and I wonder who the council member representing the district this boondoggle is taking place in is.

This clearly goes way beyond a Chris Christie-esque stunt.

posted by BrianInFlorida on Jan 17, 2014 at 10:12:57 pm     #  

BrianInFlorida posted at 09:12:57 PM on Jan 17, 2014:

and I wonder who the council member representing the district this boondoggle is taking place in is.

This clearly goes way beyond a Chris Christie-esque stunt.

Neither party in the area has the brains to even try a Bridgegate-style stunt, much less succeed at implementing it. I know they say it's not the crime, it's the cover-up that gets ya, but they can't get far as the actual crime.

posted by anonymouscoward on Jan 17, 2014 at 11:40:42 pm     #   1 person liked this

The fact that this got 13 HoF votes just gives me such a warm fuzzy feeling btw

posted by anonymouscoward on Jan 18, 2014 at 12:40:51 am     #  

Summit and Craig Bridge light is still on stop and go... What a waste.

posted by anonymouscoward on Jan 20, 2014 at 11:47:37 am     #  

anonymouscoward posted at 10:47:37 AM on Jan 20, 2014:

Summit and Craig Bridge light is still on stop and go... What a waste.

Just a thought: perhaps the powers that be don't want folks who travel that stretch to get used to not having to regard a traffic light on NB and SB Summit?

Though it's more likely that no one had the forethought to even consider altering the traffic lights.

posted by Foodie on Jan 20, 2014 at 12:16:32 pm     #