/p/
Toledo Talk forums search sign-up login

Who does Facebook? Ive got a ?

My wife's just getting involved with Facebook and is really loving it - she's hooking up with pals she hasnt spoken to in years, including an old high school pal who she'd tried to find a time or two but never could...

BUT - here's the drawback: My wife (lets call her Daphne) has a relative (we'll call her Velma, Im feeling Scooby Doo-ey today...) who's a major pain in the ass, but is still a CLOSE relative (ie, spouse of an immediate family member)... Velma found out that Daphne is out on Facebook and requested to be Daph's 'friend'.

Because Velma's a close relative, Daph had to let her be a friend, because if she didnt, there would be a bunch of crap to put up with family relations.

But now Daph has to keep herself invisible every time she's out there, because Velma's an unemployed piece of work who does jack shit all day but sit on the computer. Daph now cant chat with her friends, because every time she does, here comes 'ol Velma chiming in...

SO - is there anything Daphne can do? Is there a way for her to be invisible for just one person and visible for everyone else without Velma knowing about it?

And what was the movie? Talk to me like Im a three year old, because Im not a facebook'er, and dont know a thing about it - I'd just be forwarding the info along.

Thanks -

created by billy on Apr 24, 2009 at 01:35:06 pm     Comments: 12

source      versions

Comments ... #

Billy --
I'm new to Facebook, too, so I'm not sure of all the ins and outs, but I do know that you can chat with someone privately if they're online when you are. There's a small icon on the bottom right screen that says something like Friends Online Now. You can click on it and see who's there, and just have a conversation with that one person. Velma wouldn't be able to chime in on that, because she wouldn't see it.

posted by Anniecski on Apr 24, 2009 at 01:44:50 pm     #  

I would have Daph, creat a second facebook account under an assumed name and simply send a message to her real friends that she has a different account and add them to her new page so they can communicate without velma. and make sure she keeps it private.

posted by tm2 on Apr 24, 2009 at 01:52:03 pm     #  

There is a place you can block people, but I think the other person would know. I don't think it's like YIM where you can be invisible to just one person, but everyone else see's that you are on.

posted by lfrost2125 on Apr 24, 2009 at 02:17:21 pm     #  

Mouse over to privacy settings

Start by hovering your mouse over the “Settings” tab near the upper-right corner and select Privacy Settings. There you’ll find options to control who can see your profile as well as other information about you, such as your “personal info,” status updates, photos, videos tagged of you, and who your friends are. You can control who can see your profile within Facebook and you can turn off access to public search engines such as Google. There are plenty of other settings, including ones to control who can write on your wall and who can comment on notes, photos, or other elements of your site.
Settings vary according to what you’re trying to control and, because of the confusing user interface, you might have to hunt around a bit. For example, to change the privacy settings on your own photo albums within the Privacy Settings area you would have to find the fine print under Photos Tagged of You that says “Edit Photo Albums Privacy Settings” or navigate from the Applications tray at the bottom left corner of your browser. That “privacy wizard” they’re working on can’t come a moment too soon.

Another relatively unknown feature is the ability to create multiple friends lists and assign different privileges to people on different lists. For example, if you want only certain people to know your cell phone number you can create a list like “good friends” and another called “colleagues” to make that information available only to people on those lists. You can create lists by clicking on the Friends tab on the blue navigation bar and then clicking on “Make a New List” in the left column.

posted by Ryan on Apr 24, 2009 at 02:42:11 pm     #  

What she should have done is ignore the friend request, which the other person can't see. If it is brought up at the next family pow wow, just tell her that it is too much to keep up with and she doesn't do facebook. Of course, if anyone else in the family is on there and her friend, it could totally backfire...

posted by Ace_Face on Apr 24, 2009 at 02:42:24 pm     #  

http://www.safeteens.com/2009/02/27/how-to-use-facebook-privacy-settings/

posted by Ryan on Apr 24, 2009 at 02:45:54 pm     #  

What Ryan said ^^

posted by toledolen on Apr 24, 2009 at 02:49:06 pm     #  

Thanks Ryan -

Ace face: if anyone else in the family is on there and her friend, it could totally backfire...

THAT's exactly the issue. Of course if my wife could show EVERYONE in the family how to hide from her, 'Daphne' would be the family hero!!

posted by billy on Apr 24, 2009 at 03:07:12 pm     #  

I really love Facebook and have enjoyed catching up with old friends. So I can imagine how annoying that must be for your wife. When someone starts IM’ing me too much I just act like I am away from the computer.

posted by Ryan on Apr 24, 2009 at 03:34:28 pm     #  

You got it - and that's what she does, but imagine if you're already having fun IM'ing with a group of pals and this happens.

posted by billy on Apr 24, 2009 at 03:39:13 pm     #  

Ryan summed it up pretty good. Facebook does a better job than most sites (in my opinion) of allowing you to tailor your privacy options.

posted by mom2 on Apr 24, 2009 at 06:27:14 pm     #  

Ryan is right.I have ignored my sister in law, I can't stand her and don't really care what she thinks.Every time I see her profile pop up for people I might know it makes my skin crawl.

posted by toledoinmd on Apr 24, 2009 at 09:09:01 pm     #  

Login or create an account to post a comment.